becoming a wonderful artist?
i mean, like the ones that have an awesome job, a great style and an amazingly passion for their art?
Im not very sure about how im i goin to end up with this "art" stuff, i honestly want to believe i can be tons better but at the same time something is telling me that i wasnt meant to be as great as i allways wanted to be...there's something i lack...(well...many things but most of them can be fixed...like just normal mistakes and faults we as "artists" have) and im not very sure if it is passion.
I've allways felt im goin to end up with another kind of happiness...like the happines of having a beautiful family (children, husband, pets...whatever)...
Believe it or not, i have no doubts about me having a wonderful life...i can see myself being a really happy person, allways loved by my boyfriend (wich is now my fiancé lol), family and children if i happen to have (im pretty sure i will)...
But i dont see myself being someone great as artist...i find it to hard to imagine and it kinda hurts because thats probably why i cannot overcome this feeling i allways have of never being as good as i'd like...of never being happy with my art.
Sometimes i think it is a price i must pay...like...if i wanted to have an amazing life being a happy housewife then i would have to give up on the idea of ever being great and admired, and skilled and blah (all the great people i admire has been alone and their only love has been their art) and viceversa.
I know there's tons of great artists who have a family and they have this so called perfect life (because no life is perfect XD) but the fact is that i dont feel THAT would ever be my case...it isnt inside me...there's not a voice telling me i can have both...
Im not saying this because im sad or something (coz im not) its more like...a hunch...you know?
Of course i get sad sometimes and i allways say:
"""Dont be silly, you loved art since you looked like a sea monkey in your mother's belly (IEEEE junooo! lol) why would you have to give up to it, you can allways have both!"""
and thats what i say to myself every single day, it doesnt really work still but maybe it will someday ...maybe i need some fresh air because i've felt stuck in my parents house for so long...i feel like a guest in the house i've been living for more than 18 years, i need to start my own life...i need a room called studio with big walls and big posters everywhere, with a big window and plenty of sun comming from outside...
maybe thats what will change my life and hunchs forever...i dont know.
Does something like that happens to you?